One ... and only

Hello Ladies, Child Four here again.

This will be my last post ... Mother is becoming suspicious of my activity around her computer, and I can no longer pass it off as: 'Just defragging the hard drive, Mother' or 'Mother, I'm off to install the wireless router you're always on at me about!"

See all her computer contraptions?  

It looks like she works for NASA, but in reality it's because she breaks things.

I am ONE today. 

Mother says I am "ONE-derful!" Silly bat thinks her puns are amusing ...

For the last 365 days I've suffered with this family ... and finally I get some recompense.

Yo Gabba Gabba put on a 'birthday' episode, just for me.

My booty was satisfactory. I like my ball, and my Miffy book, and Alice is ... okay.

Crazy Mother gave me a book in Italian ... it's about Goldilocks and the Three Bears ...

She likes it because the bears are Beatniks and they have lots of nice furniture, which Goldilocks goes about destroying ... Goldilocks has a lot in common with Mother.

Though Mother has overlooked the fact that no one in our house can speak Italian.

Mother said we'd better do something momentous for my birthday, so we went out for a cupcake.

Mother is tardy when it comes to getting my older brother, Child 3's, hair cut so she said he could slip in here for a trim and a flea bath. He seemed happy with that idea because he thinks he's a dog. Sometimes he smells like a dog ... and you know he likes licking things.

When we got home, Mother decided she should bake me a birthday cake because if we looked at photos of my first birthday, and there was no birthday cake, she'd look like a bad Mother.

Look how busy she is ... she has an apron on. You wouldn't think so, but she blow-dried her hair this morning. My understanding is that you also brush your hair when you blow-dry it. That's what Noodle says ...

She has to use a hand blender, because she broke her big blue mixer and it's been in the fix-it shop for the last three months. She says: "The part is on the slow-boat from China". I say, "Don't go sticking wooden spoons in the whirring blades of your mixer, sista."

Oh, here's the cake.

Just because I'm older, doesn't mean I've changed.

So there, Mother!

Take that, Noodle!

Did you say something, Belly button?