With nothing to do, I was told by Solid Gold Dancer #1, that she'd committed herself to the Italian teacher to making a 'le befana' doll.
Why.
So, too lazy to get in the car and drive to Spotlight, I screamed to the heavens, 'We'll make a le befana doll out of what we have. Dammit!'
And we did. Calico body stuffed with quilting fabric scraps, old linen dress with patches and a lighter-toned linen shawl (but still in the dowdy colours redolent of le befana). A broom of wool with a stick from the park. A scarf knitted by grandma and some craaaazee button eyes. Don't forget her bag of coal for naughty children who don't hang up their wet towels or replace toilet rolls.
Last time I helped Solid Gold Dancer #1 with a school project, she got 0/10. I kid you not.
It was a speech about immigration and the teacher said it sounded like a lawyer had written it so she gave Solid Gold Dancer #1 NO MARKS. I told Solid Gold Dancer #1 not to worry about it, as it was only Grade 6 (and one day she may very well be a lawyer, who specialised in immigration, but she would to be too smart to waste time being one). But sometimes school is shit.
I've just helped Solid Gold Dancer #3 (who's in Grade One) with his speech about Sperm Whales. He had to, while maintaining eye-contact with his audience and using appropriate tone and projection, list five interesting points about a chosen sea creature. We've chosen 6 points with the last one being: "Sperm whales are the largest toothed animals on the planet. They eat giant squid for lunch followed by octopus ice-cream for dessert".
It's just school. Why do they give Solid Gold Dancers tasks which can only require the assistance of an adult to complete them?
Seriously I don't know. Last year in Sydney, my grade 1 girl had speeches, assignments, mathletics, spelling, reading, projects etc etc etc which almost did MY head in as I had to help make sure it was done - they are only 6 and 7 year olds!! This year down here there has not been a single bit of homework. Ever. Nothing! Should I be worried? WHo knows. Surely solid gold dancer 3 should get a 10 for excellent display of humour :-)
ReplyDeleteWhy do they bother giving homework in primary school anyway? Surely 6 hours of school per day is enough? Let the kiddies come home and play!
ReplyDeleteToday I felt like a la befana. I don't know what they are but sense they are misunderstood outcasts. I was dressed like one - with crazy eyes to boot. Especially after doing 3 sets of homework. Arghhh.
ReplyDeleteSchool sucks while you're there and then you barely give it another thought when you leave. If only we knew what we know now! I'd (we'd?) have so much more fun.
ReplyDeleteWitchy Poo, that's what my girlies call me. Looking at Befana is like looking into a mirror. That bag of coal would come in handy, I've told mine that's all they're going to get for Christmas!
Sorry you had a crappy week. Hope this one is better. Much better x
p.s. Hope #3 gets top marks for his speech on Sperm Whales.
Unbelievable. I hated school. Still do.
ReplyDeleteLove the doll, it turned out perfectly! Who needs Spotlight anyway? That place is enough to giveyou a migraine.
ReplyDeleteSchool, yes a funny place. My mum was a teacher and I had her help me with a comprehension in grade 7 I think. I had no idea so mum and I worked it out together. I just managed to get a Pass. Say what??? Not a Credit? We still think that was funny.
I hope you are having a better week this week. Pop into DD for some colour therapy :)
So true! Of course parents need to help with these projects and assignments. Some teachers are just horrid. The doll is great though! I'm impressed if that counts for anything? x
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that the scarf lives again.
ReplyDeleteI just hope the teacher doesn't think I made the rest.
Teachers to a "man" detested me.
Nothing's changed I wouldn't imagine.
My heart bleeds for that unfortunate doll.
So pleased to see you getting all crafty with it, you old hippy you!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm tired of berating my kids to do the homework and I'm extremely tired of having homework on computers so they have to sit in front of the screen when I am trying to discourage screen time.
The ordinary teachers are often the ones who don't get the kids who are a bit extra ordinary one way or a quirky other.
A few homework issues here at the moment too. Might just be that time of year when children are 'over' it. With what seems a ridiculous quantity of homework to complete, after an hour I tell them enough's enough, close the books, get outside, resulting in tears and crying that it has to be done! Ridiculous. I shouldn't say this because I know there are so many amazing teachers, but my Dad always loved to joke that you really only need a Year 3 education to teach Year 2. We don't tell our teachers that though, do we Sally!
ReplyDeleteHope you're having a better week. Do you get some holiday time over Christmas?
Why do they give Solid Gold Dancers tasks which can only require the assistance of an adult to complete them, you ask? Well that's because, believe it or not, there are some crazy possessed parents out there, who on the first day of term, ask "So when will they start getting homework?" And they ask it with such excitement too, as if they're really looking forward to the start of all that malarchy! They're also usually the parents who sweat on the next reader, sight word list & think their child's education has been compromised if you dare make the mistake of giving them the same reader twice! Jaded ... not me ;-)
ReplyDeletehope you get some big fat nothing time. to read that book, i remember it being great!
ReplyDeletehugs from europe...
Do I detect a bubby masquerading as a witch in sheep's clothing?
ReplyDeleteOh the homework nightmare. Our school does not do any homework except for a home reader until grade 3 I think. Roboboy gets a reader a night in grade 1 and has just this term started to have a structured show and tell alternate weeks. That is already problematic as if he thinks the topic is crap he is very hard to motivate. This is the child that stood on the stage mute and looking at the floor during the entire grade 1 performance of "if you're happy and you know it" at the school fete because he thought it was the naffest baby song and he was not going to be involved in something so degrading. Made worse by the fact he was in the front row and the best mates on either side were singing with gusto and with dance moves akin to a live BeeJees concert. Anyway it's term 4, they are all knackered, time to do the bare minimum I reckon. The doll rocks. mel x
ReplyDeleteItalians are so annoying. La Befana turned out nicely anyway, but maybe that teacher is a bit confused and didn't explain to #1 that la befana comes in january. Anyway.
ReplyDeleteI had the suspect my teacher in school was a total ignorant and that she was learning through my homework. My mom was an editor and we had tons and tons of books in our house, so this teacher was asking me for special homework all the time. She used to freak out when she gave us lists of books to read and I had already read them all. Wait. Maybe it's the same teacher to #1?
argghhh, this happens to me all the time! A 'project a week till the end of term'- all requiring parental help! F%&k off I say, I've done school and 3 times at uni, I've passed! (sorry for the swearing, but so good to find someone that agrees. I tell the other parents and they go 'oh, Little Johnny does it ALL by themselves the day they get the assignment' and I just.want.to.kill.them)
ReplyDelete