The Saddest Circus in the history of Circuses

"Let's all go to the circus," bellowed a group of children in startling unison.

"Oh, you don't want to go to the circus," said Mother. "It's horrible. There's always a lot of toothless, carni-types loitering behind the popcorn stand. It makes my skin crawl."

"I agree," piped in Father. "The circus always makes me itchy and, besides, I don't like how they treat the animals."

"Oh, can't we go?" the children called again, throwing down their wii's, ipods and other new-fangled plastic playthings.

"Yes, let them go," said Gordon. "The circus always reminds me of my days on Sesame Street during the 60s - so many furry animals and crazy-looking people!"

"Did I tell you about the time when 'Zee' was the letter of the day? Zany!"

"Yes, yes, Gordon", said Dad exasperatedly. "You regaled us with your Sesame Street stories when we were in Sweden, remember? Right now I'm trying to work out how to fit so many children in the car."

Just then, as fortune would have it, the Fisher Price School Bus pulled up outside the front door.

"That's fortuitous," said Gordon.

So everyone piled in, and off they drove off in the direction of a circus.

After a short while, they found the Fisher Price Circus Train! (Did you pick it, Readers?)

It was looking extremely shabby. The children couldn't see the giraffe, and the other animals looked sick and old.

The paint was fading on the train carriages, the carriage connections were all broken,  and the whole shebang looked like it hadn't hit-the-road for a very long time.

"This is ludicrous," said Father. "I'm going to find someone who can tell me what's going on".

Followed by Mother and the children, Father soon came across the Ring Master. The Ring Master was looking very sad.

"What's going on here?" demanded Father. "We expected more from the Circus than this flea-bitten excuse!"

"I'm so sorry," said the Ring Master. "We're very old now. Close to 30-years-old, I think. There's a lot more attractive toys, now-a-days, so we find we're easily overlooked."

"I don't doubt it," said Mother, through pursed lips. "Where's the giraffe? Your animals are in a right state!"

The Ring Master replied, "Yes, our lion is a bit mangy and he's lost his teeth; our elephant has stiff joints; and we lost our giraffe a long, long time ago. We put an ad in the paper yesterday for a new one ... we're interviewing applicants today."

Sure enough, in the distance was a rag-tag of giraffes, ready to apply for the long-necked vacancy.

The Ring Master went on, "That horse is a conundrum. He tells me he's recently been swinging with some Method actors, and they taught him their Craft, so we're giving him an interview for the giraffe position too. He's very convincing when it comes to eating the highest-of leaves. Anyway, image doesn't really matter around here anymore."

Just then Mother saw the monkey sitting by himself in one of the carriages.

"God! He's only got one arm! And no tail! He's a hideous monster!" she screamed, and she collapsed to the ground at the foot of a clown.

Father suddenly started scratching his chest, possibly out of simeon-sympathy with the monkey or, because as he said, he gets itchy at the circus.

"You're the saddest circus in all the history of circuses," he said shaking his head.

 "I don't think this circus is sad. And I don't think the monkey's hideous," said one of the children quietly.

"Why does having two arms and two legs make you a nicer person, or monkey, for that matter?"

"That's one smart kid," said Gordon.

A little girl, who looked like she could one day by Australia's first female Prime Minister, spoke up ... "And I like your old elephant whose ears, once bright blue, are now dulling to a more realistic grey."

"Me too," yelled a little boy. "I like how your carriage stickers are worn away ... it shows that little hands used to play with your trains ... I think you're lovely!"

Gordon stood up. "You know, it's only vanity that's ugly. Humility is beautiful, and you circus people look exactly how you're meant to look," he said.

"Do you really think so?" asked the Ring Master, his confidence growing.

"Then, roll-up! Roll-up! This is the happiest and brightest day in our circus history!"

"And, you know, I think we'll employ all the giraffes! I can't choose just one."

"And horsey! We'll keep him for his PR skills. He certainly has a way with the ladies!"

THE END