The sad saga of buying a business suit from Herringbone ... as told by the Herringbone catalogue models

Hello! 

So, you want to buy a navy suit and a skirt? 

We have pinstripes? You don't like pinstripes?



Well, I'll dash downstairs and see if we have a navy suit in your size that's not a pinstripe suit.


Sorry that took me so long. We don't have a navy suit in your size downstairs, but I brought up a pinstripe suit in your size from downstairs. 

That's right, you don't like pinstripes ...

Well, no. We can't get a navy suit in your size because in two weeks this store is closing for three weeks while it gets renovated. 

So we can't possibly get a navy suit. 

You could get a navy suit if you went to Sydney or Melbourne, but in Brisbane? Nope. Impossible. 

Oh, you're miffed. And you're turning on your heels and walking out.

Bye-bye then.

Uh, oh. Here comes that woman who's fixated on getting a navy suit from us. 

I thought we'd gotten rid of her. Pretend we're not talking about her. 

Hello!

 So, you don't believe us when we say we can't get a navy suit and a skirt in your size, that isn't of the pin-stripe bent, into this store in the space of fourteen days?

You want to 'start the ball rolling now' to get your suit, rather than sitting on your tailored-arse doing nothing for five weeks? 

Interesting.

I'll just look at the computer stock-listy thing and see where there might be a navy suit in your size that doesn't come within a whiff of pins or stripes.

Good God! Look! There's a skirt in Chatswood and a suit in Sydney! Right now! 

There they are listed on the computer-stock-listy thing!

I'll see if I can order them. 

Though, I won't do that now. 

I'll wait until you've gone. 

And then I'll ring you on your phone. 

What? I'll have to leave a message at home with your au pair? 

What a coincidence I speak Finnish! How helpful!! 

{** Addendum. Incredibly, the suit has arrived in Brisbane today. It's awaiting my fitting. It's not like it had to be shipped here from Africa. I've had it with poor service. I'm revolting! (Yes, I know how that reads, but I'm sticking with it.)}