Sunday, March 13, 2011

The Gates of Hell

At the moment, you could be fooled into thinking the Gates of Hell are opening.

Earthquakes and tsunamis and nuclear reactor meltdowns and erupting volcanoes and the associated pestilence and vermin.

I'm not good with vermin. I've discovered they rarely look like this ...


and, just as invariably, never look like this.


Instead, when you climb the backstairs from the laundry at the crack of dawn, they look like this ...


this ...


and this.


This one was on its last legs ... because I don't think vermin like to hang about for happy snaps. It's a sign that cooler weather is coming, and these four-legged disease-spreading creatures are on the move.

As I said, I'm not good with expiring vermin, so I covered it until the Husband comes home. 


I'm adding the Husband to my list of "People You Gotta Love". 

So far, that list includes:
  1. Ex-Girlfriends Who Either Wanted Nothing More To Do With My Father or Ex-Girlfriends Who Don't Know The Value of Decent Pearls and
  2. Husbands Not Afraid To Remove Dead Things.

30 comments:

  1. I love your list!
    That poor mouse does look like it's on it's last legs. We get the dratted vermin when the air cools down here too. But, I have a mouse killin' cat extraordinaire. I'll send her over to you for a loan.

    p.s. I love B Potter. Did you see the movie about her life?

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  2. aww, your poor little vermin. I used to save mice from my cats and give them back their freedom.

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  3. Deb,
    I didn't see that movie. Was it a good one? I'll add you to my list.

    L,
    that's no mouse. It's a dirty rat!

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  4. Pesky rat! Your place is like a zoo, with turkeys and wild birds, rats...soon we'll see you wrestling crocs and exclaiming "Crikey!"

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  5. Oh dear God, I don't do mice or rats or vermon of any kind in fact I screamed.......we once had one in the house. this is the one thing that you may as well put me in a mental hospital!!! whats yours?

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  6. Brismod,
    pesky rat indeed. I'm sketching a vermin-proof Mid-Century compound which I'll one day take to a builder for rapid construction.

    Heidi,
    I did scream ... and then so did all the children who then ran around like chooks with their heads cut off, which sent the blind/deaf dog into a frenzy, and I thought, 'the dog'll bring the dying rat inside' and then I'll be in trouble.

    I was squeamish throwing the plastic crate over it. It could've been a hopping cane toad. That would have tipped me over the edge, mental faculties-wise.

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  7. That thing is hideous! Yuck! Double yuck!! And God Bless your Rat Removing Husband. I'm also grateful for an ex-wife that let my husband go...thank you VERY MUCH!

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  8. Hmm i can (just) cope with a cane toad and maybe a cute little mouse but definitely NO Rats!! EEEkkk!!!

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  9. end of days...thats what we murmur under our breath while watching the news! its hard not to think so! vermin or not, i still feel sorry for any little struggling animal -except snakes :)

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  10. you know, on second thought, i just took another look. that thing is gross. so i add to my list, gross little animals with meaty hairless tales...like a snake.

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  11. Rats, turkeys, cane toads... the joys of living sub tropical! I trapped a huge malevolent cane toad under a bucket the other night only to find it had knocked over the bucket and escaped by morning when the toad man (husband) got around to dealing with it. It is still at large somewhere down stairs waiting to look gormless when I next stub my toe on it. BLEGH! I hope your rattus is still there tonight but they are seriously sneaky critters. Watch out!

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  12. They're awful, I know. We haven't seen many live ones 'round here lately, but instead we're finding dismembered bodies, sweetly laid out by the cat to earn our praise (I assume). When the one year old brought me half a mouse, complete with bulging intestine's on Sat morning, the husband was 'roused' from his slumber to attend to the situation. Made my stomache churn and I've never disinfected her little hands so determinedly. Yuck.

    And yes, you'd love the Beatrix Potter movie. I highly recommend it.

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  13. Revolted!! Gross MMMC. No more of those images please. God love your husband. Please universe do not let these creatures venture near my humble home. The gazillion 10 cent coin sized cane toads you've sent are more than enough to bare!

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  14. I'm amused that you had time to grab your camera to photograph and simultaneously face your fears as you would have us believe. Oh, the lengths we go to provide entertaining blog fodder. Don't be surprised if that mouse had disappeared by the time you lift the crate back up - they can fit through a crack and it is over the drain. Just warning you.

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  15. Oh dear. Not a good start to the week.
    Yes indeed, praise the heroic husbands.
    I had a green frog in my laundry this morning. Praise for oldest daughters also.

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  16. Your posts make me laugh! This is too funny. I love the list. My husband screams like a girl when he sees a mouse. Wuss. Your husband sounds like a terrific guy to have around :)

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  17. Thea,
    it was a rat, I tell you! A rat! And it was that close to death it wasn't moving anywhere.

    Fiona,
    I thought you of all people could handle a green frog!

    Meg,
    the Husband came home mid-shift because he had rubber gloves on at the time and he thought, that while he had gloves on, he may as well kill two birds with one stone, as it were.

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  18. poor little ratty just wants a cuddle and something nice to eat, and possibly to nest in your shoes.

    you go squish now!

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  19. Oh you make me laugh! Good to see that husband was put to good use! karen

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  20. Yes definately rat, lucky your husband was around to deal with it. Mine always seems to be away for these kind of episodes- last time I had to single handedly deal with a snake in the bathroom without the baby or 3 yo realizing while Legoman was overseas. He was also conveniently at work today when I was left to deal with the legs in the air completely carked it pet chicken....... more on that in tomorrows post.

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  21. Ugh - hate rats. Love the ice cream container idea.

    Hope that is your last encounter with vermin for a while.

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  22. Aah! You were brave just to have covered it. Unfortunately, I am the vermin wrangler in the family. Husband is totally ineffectual with that.

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  23. Aww mouse, One of my cats is good at hunting mice... My sister has a lousy boyfriend LOL (their cats come home with birds) my dad usually has to show up to remove dead animals. And my sister send me to the garage last week when she saw some left over feathers ;)

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  24. usually i find all vermin quiet cute...but, yeah, this guy looks pretty sad and well, pitiful.

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  25. Surely the stuff of nightmares.
    Possibly happening to the person I sleep beside who is going through his 8th. post-midlife crisis with a rabid psyche that screams in the night.
    Upsets PaddyPaws the poodle as well as my somnolent self.
    Maybe, it could be the pearl-less past girlfriend seeking vengeance.
    I have to admire the rubber gloved Galahad though, but wondering about the reason to have the gloves on coming home.
    Is there something else there we should know about?
    BTW Annie. Many the cane toad I have chased around the the pool filter room with a canister of Saxa salt in a life I'd rather forget.

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  26. I hate rats- their greasy skin, their beady eyes. YUCK.

    Amalgamated Pest Control are who you need- they bait those evil intruders and ensure they are not inside the house.

    Good luck.

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  27. Oh, dear MMMC,
    just give the mouse a name: 'Minnie Mouse' for example ;-) or 'Alice in wonderland', 'Pippi Longstocking'... you'll not be so afraid!
    x Ariane.

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  28. All creatures great and small, except cane toads. If it can't be eaten by something, what is it good for?

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  29. How did I miss this post???
    We had expiring vermin visit last week too(the neighbours had poisoned him already but unsuccessfully) just before we went on holiday.
    He was watching me paint furniture... ALL
    AFTERNOON...we scanned each other for hrs, our vermin was a bit cute though which made administering the rest of the Ratsak very awkward for an animal lover.
    We were reminded of of its existence on return by the wonderful stench in our laundry... Yes, that place where you're supposed to get clothes clean and fresh smelling... Ahem... Still haven't found it.
    Megan xx

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