I'll deal with one at a time ... and I'll sprinkle this dilemma with the comforting images of Hans Wegner chairs. I don't have time to tell you about Mr Wegner ... but you know he's Denmark's pre-eminent furniture designer ... along with all the other Danish pre-eminent furniture designers.
My Corporate Law Research Paper is due this Wednesday. It's taken me a long time to research, and write, because it's a difficult area and I like to write my research papers like I mean them. In fact, I really haven't even finished mine.
It's difficult partly because I study externally - which means I'm doing this Degree on my own - ie no face-to-face lectures, no face-to-face tutorials, no pimply-faced students to talk to - I get it all done via the internet. I don't even have to go into a library if I don't want to.
That's the way I like it. Because that's the way I am.
But I can guarantee that tonight I'll get a phone call from another external student who lives 150 kilometres away. He'll ring at about 9:30pm and he'll want to perform a post-mortem on his assignment and compare its innards with the innards of my assignment and he'll start by defining the question ... Word. By. Word. Even the question mark at the end of the question ... He'll want to analyse the question mark.
He does it every time we do the same subject ... at best, it's two days before the assignment's due. At worst, it's the night before the thing's due. I'll have finished mine and will just have to tidy it up. But he won't have started his ... or barely ... he'll remind me that he's divorced, that he works full-time (but it's only contract work so there's no certainty and he worries about that), and how hard Law is, and how hard the exams are etc etc.
Meanwhile, the Husband marches up-and-down behind me, during the one-hour telephone conversation, swearing under his breath that this other student is phoning again as per his Modus Operandi.
I find it extremely stressful ... I don't want to talk about my assignment and I don't want to give him the information which has taken me so long to find and understand.
I've just written the damn thing and now I want to forget about it. I don't want to debate legal principles, and if I'm wrong about the legal principles, I'd rather a lecturer tell me in big red pen.
But should I be helping this other student? He obviously appreciates my advice and sometimes he'll tip me off about a journal article or a point of Law which I haven't considered.
Maybe I should do a good turn and one day karma will come back on the seat of a Hans Wegner shell chair ...
But on the whole, I wish he'd leave me alone and annoy someone else. But I just can't bring myself to say that.
PS You can see more of Mr Wegner's chairs by clicking here.
Love the Y chair
ReplyDeleteMy advice is give him 15 minutes of your time and leave it at that. Cue your hubby to interrupt you 10 minutes into the conversation and wind up in the next 5 minutes. Your guilt and anger will not be so bad and the Karma gods may still give you a Hans Wegner chair.
ReplyDeleteI would say that if you put the value of the points he gives you against the pressure he puts on you and your marriage - well, I would just not take the pressure. It is not worth it. And maybe in giving him the brush off you mioht just be helping him to find the right person to deal with him. I would go with comment number 2 and deal with it that way. Cherrie
ReplyDeleteLie. Tell him one of the kids is sick (you can rotate them each time he calls). He should be contacting a tutor at university if he has questions and not bothering you. And you certainly shouldn't be handing over all the information that you've worked hard to get. You've got enough on your plate!
ReplyDeleteas someone who finds it impossible to wind up phone calls even when I really want to, I suggest not answering the phone all night! nice chairs too...
ReplyDeleteGood advice, Ladies.
ReplyDeleteI'm cleaning up the bibliography now and reading your comments thinking they are all very helpful.
I did think about not answering the phone, the Husband suggested an emergency trip to the Hospital ... I'll see what happens!
I think I'll just have to be blunt and honest!
Honesty isn't always the best policy. Go with the child emergency.
ReplyDeleteYou're sure you're cut out to be a lawyer? Lie!
ReplyDeleteDo you have caller display on your phone?!
ReplyDeleteDuring the brief 15 minutes, mention that you ARE still married and mention the husband's name. Mention how difficult it has been to write the paper with four kids and mention their names. Then casually let it slip that you also have a blog to maintain with no less than..(gasp!!!)...58 followers who expect amusement and eduction daily. Tell him ITS name when he asks and let him read all this. No more karma- you are in credit.
ReplyDeleteOR Tell the husband to tell Child 2 there's poo on his shoe exactly 10 minutes into the call. That should do it!
Annie
I say screen your calls. You've got 4 kids. You're studying law. It's enough. Put hubby on phone detail. He can say you're out with a friend (we'll all vouch for you). Congrats on getting yours in on time and thanks for the chairs!
ReplyDeleteHave your husband answer the phone and tell him you have laryngitis. That way you won't be lying, your husband will and you'll have a better chance at the chair.
ReplyDeleteIf you answer the phone tonight stand up when hubby give you the wind up. Standing up can help you be more insistent about getting off the phone. You have five minutes to start working towards the grand cut off. At the five minute point knock over the readily prepared metal pots (you know that sound when kids clatter in the pot draw). Suck the breath in and say God sorry I have to go one of the kids is destroying the place. He has heard the noise and you have cut the phone call off cleanly.
ReplyDeleteThe pot distractor is useful if you are not comfortable about lying about a sick kid. I used to love it when I would take the book of daughter at the windup point. It would take her 5 minutes to get to the mind drone whinging in the background that often the unwanted callers would say - I must let you go after her whinge has driven them insane for the last five minutes. Hang up and give her back her book all was sweet in the world..
It´s ok not to answer the phone when one is buzy, or great idea: just give him 15 min if you feel like it. ONLY if you feel like it :)
ReplyDeleteAnd of course, Wegner rules :)
Some chairs!
ReplyDeleteThe phone is Enemy #1 for me.
It's a rude butt into your life.
I'd have Child #3 answer and regale the man with Thomas facts and his Thomas engendered emotions.
I am feeling very anxious after reading your latest post. What a burden, mentally, ethically and academically. I am wanting to tell you to lie and say you haven't done it. But I think perhaps he would not believe you. Or perhaps get on the front foot and email him a tip or two then don't answer the phone. Giving it to him, then sticking it to him.
ReplyDeleteWow! You're all fantastic! I do feel much better. I didn't get a phone call last night, thank goodness.
ReplyDeleteBut in an effort to head-off tonight's possibility, I kind-of took all your advice ...
I emailed him this morning (cutting him off at the pass) suggesting some articles for him to look at. I said Child 4 is extremely sick (she is. Thank goodness! Poor baby) and I've turned off the phones (I have) and that the Husband is away tonight (he is) so I think I'll be too flat-out with the kids to talk about the assignment.
I suggested if he needed to he could email me ... and if I had a moment I'd get back to him.
I feel much better. It is a minor issue but there are some things in life that can just be the last straw, don't you think?
Very helpful, people. Thank you..
PS Anon Annie, Child 4 quietly pooed on my feet the other night. So your poo-on-shoes suggestion isn't so far-fetched. She'd just gotten out of the bath and was wrapped in a towel in my arms while I was standing watching the news. And she let loose. That was a experience and a sensation I won't forget for a while!
Ah yes! The bath poo stopped them all arguing over whose turn it was to bathe with the wee-un. It must be that nice warm water and the relaxing soak. Now they know to call for emergency back up as soon as the indicator bubbles appear! Boy three (with similar poo issues to your Child 2) won't even USE the bath now since the last flotsam incident. I do hope it wasn't your new clogs!!!
ReplyDeleteAnnie
Oh, I am laughing about poo-in-the-bath.
ReplyDeleteOne night we went to get Child 2 and Child 3 out of the bath, and on pulling them out found a big poo floating about among the bath toys.
Child 2 began to dry-wretch and Child 3, who was the silent culprit, just shrugged his shoulders.
Goodness knows how long it'd been swimming between them.
P.S. I can just see all those chairs in your back yard!
ReplyDeleteAA
If anyone deserves a set of those chairs it's the suffering Mother.
ReplyDeleteTo say I'm not aghast at these #2 stories would be to affirm that these 2 Independent MP's don't float my boat.
Your comments crack me up! Love the poo stories.
ReplyDelete