And there's no two-ways about it ... full-scale war has been declared!
With Enemy No 1! Turn away, it's hideous!
It's buzzard against Mother!
Don't let the cute chick fool you.
For the innocent northern-hemisphere readers, I'm going to do a quick reccy on the bush turkey so you don't get too upset about our strategic manoeuvres.
The Australian scrub turkeys or brush turkeys (I call them 'bush turkeys' or BUZZARDS!) are native, wide-spread species of mound-building bird.
I admit, I once found their quirkiness endearing. But that's no longer the case.
They are very common in the suburban areas of the mid- to north-East Australia ie they live predominantly in the Western suburbs of Brisbane.
They are vermin. They destroy people's gardens in order to build their communal mounds which can incubate up to 50 eggs. These birds come into my house. Imagine 50 of them. In my house!
See? This is a mound which was built by a male in the stealth of night. One minute it wasn't there ... next morning it was. They are pre-programmed, mound-building, garden-destroying, tick-infested, disease-carrying monsters.
Get away children. It'll scratch your little blue eyes out! This is the bare dirt that it has exposed using its hideous talons ... dragging precious grass, leaf litter, mulch and topsoil to build its warm rancid nest.
Triumphant children stomping on the mound ...
Bare trees above which may need clipping ... Nest in the trees you stupid birds! Bush turkeys like to build their nests in the shade ... their mounds have to be a certain temperature (about 35 degrees Celsius) for the eggs to hatch ... if their mounds get too much sun, the eggs get too hot.
More bare dirt which has been scraped back by the irrepressible beast.
Here is Beelzebub Buzzard, in the trees making his escape ... Look at me, COWARD!
So, the Husband, knowing we had no time to lose, went to Bunnings and bought a 'tarp' ... we counter-striked and, in the stealth of night, covered the mound in said 'tarp'. I had to reassure the Husband there were no eggs in the nest ... it was only built a few hours before and I think it takes a bit longer than that to do all that's required to fill a nest ... maybe it doesn't? Who knows?
The idea is that you cover mound and the bush turkey male moves on ... to the neighbours house or to Greenland ... because if you merely rake the mound back, it will be re-built over-night! The horror!
Here's Beelzebub this morning. He's not happy at his re-decorated mound. Stickin' it to the bird.
That's it! Run away! Next strike will be a phonecall to Pete the Possum and Bird removal man. That's right my friend! Heed this! He'll take you away in a cage and you'll never see your mangy girlfriends again!
Noodle the Poodle, whose ancestors were bred to chase water fowl, sleeps through it all.
I have irrational bird phobia. I think I'm having nightmares tonight.
ReplyDeleteThe male has to wait for the female to sample his nest, ie put some of it in her mouth, to determine if it is of good temperature. If so she will lay her egg(s). Then she scoots off, for the male to remain with the nest. I always thought they only laid one egg. 50 you say??
ReplyDeleteBut the males are obsessed, and very much pre-programmed as you say, to build nests. Good luck getting rid of him, but the tarp was a good call.
You know they are protected, because they used to be quite rare. I have a family of ten, but my garden isn't good for making nests thankfully.
Oh Lis! How I snorted at your comment. If you came over here and sat on the back deck, you'd be a screaming, arm-flailing mess!
ReplyDeleteCt, the blasted male attracts a series of females. It's not a monogamous relationship this feathered CREATURE OF THE DEVIL is after.
They are protected, yes, but I'll defend my cucumber throwing in a Court of Law. Then six-years of legal study will pay itself off!!
I hate these horrible destroyers of gardens, I don't care if they are protected. They are vermin and I throw rocks at them.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous,
ReplyDeleteI am feeling there is a vigilante movement growin' ... I can feel it in the wind (that has now died down since the Ekka's Carnies have moved on).
I know a woman who throws loose laundry floor-tiles at them. Riles her husband when he mows, though.
Those birds look disgusting and scary! How can they be protected?! Do they do anything good for the environment? Ignorant Northerners Want to Know.
ReplyDeleteDeb,
ReplyDeleteit's a bit like fleas ... what good do fleas do? Bloody fleas. I haven't got fleas, by the way.
But they're all God's creatures ... and there's one good thing about the bush turkey ... when I stand next to a Bush Turkey, guess who's the prettier one!? (That'd be me, Deb.)
I say, a stake through the heart at midnight.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you all the way.
I must breathe deep and slow after reading your justifiably murderous tirade. Miss M and I often wonder down to "the farm" after school drop- off with a cup of tea and a bucket of brekky scraps for miladies in the coop. Imagine our horror when we come across the new flower bed raked to oblivion or the girls' water tipped over with large, vile, graffiti claw marks scratched across the dust of the chicken run. The dirty beasties don't even run away now but saunter like some weaselly teenage boy busted outside the convent dorm rooms. Most offensive is their tendency to crouch, vulture like on the fence glowering at me as I run at them with the rake or baby waving in front of me...whatever is at hand. The poor ladies cower, tittering in the far corner of the coop at the wormy delinquents that have them pinned inside. My elderly neighbour,Bob, bless him was a WW2 vet and had waged his own war for 50 years in that back yard. They even used to cook the eggs back in the bad old pioneer days but the foul fowl still came back. Any bird is welcome in my garden but not this
ReplyDeletegrubby feral thing. We need a Pied Piper of Brisbane... or Pete the Possum Man. This is a call to arms! Suburban Brisbania must unite against the feathered foe!
Annie
Sorry. That was long but I really don't like them, not one little bit!
ReplyDeleteAA
There is a very good documentary about some folk in Nimbin with a brush turkey problem. It is quite amusing seeing how these otherwise peace-loving folk can be turned to the dark side by this bird.
ReplyDeleteDMC, stake through the heart's a bit gruesome ... and the 4xChilds will get some ideas.
ReplyDeleteAA,
It's good to get your frustrations off your chest.
Ct,
I've seen that doco. It's funny. The otherwise pacifist hippies go quite beserk, don;t they? I think they hurl bricks.
Was bush turkey elimination on Bob Katter's 20 Point Plan?
I think one of the hippies ends up with an early Christmas lunch after the creature trashes his lounge room when he is out.
ReplyDeleteWouldn't it be ironic if it turned out that the only meal all 4xChilds ate was "Bush Turkey" ... I could kill two birds with one stone.
ReplyDeleteI asked old Bob about that and he said you can't eat them because they are so diseased and wormy...a feathered cockroach, if you will.
ReplyDeleteAA
Oh the horror of it all! I dislike them too. Luckily we don't seem to have a problem with them where I live. Anyway, I feel your pain and I hope they move on soon! Michelle
ReplyDeleteah dear! My parents have had their first bush turkey experience and they are in love! They marvel at this lads perseverance and ingenuity, they even leave little mounds of leaves and things for him to incorporate into his pile. They love his composting ability and I even though he neatly removed their entire ground cover of Spanish Shawl (whatever that is), they are still fond of him and are sorry they are going to be away while the hatching happens. Maybe I should warn them of the flea infestation and home invasions to come; that one can soon become fifty and that nothing in their garden is safe. I did remark that I'd never heard of anyone aiding and abetting a bush turkey before - usually it is war cries, lie yours. Having had 8 domestic fowl slowly scratch my garden to ruin I am sympathetic but I can't help feeling a grudging admiration for these cousins of my dear backyard hens. They are very tidy, you have to give them that! I hope your fella has moved on!
ReplyDeleteJacqui,
ReplyDeletewe liked them too once. They are kooky looking and the babies are sweet ... but truly,this one is wrecking the joint.
He seems to have lost interest now the tarp has been put on the mound.
But it's ruining the yard; comes into the house; poos on the back deck.
I've also read they are brazen enough to attack small children. Some people love them because they do till the soil! I think they also return to the same nesting grounds, year-after-year, so your parents will enjoy him for sometime!
why don't you arrange for a man to come around and kill him? sureky you know one?!
ReplyDeletewe had 5 peacocks at a house i moved into last year. they were magnificent birds and i was proud to have them in my garden - for about 3 minutes. then their elephantine sized turds on the verandah and their relentless determination to roost on my outdoor table and drop their lice infested feathers all over the joint was too much for me. my friend nick has a gun and he potted them all for a carton of larger. my husband had to help, he said it wasn't really as much fun as he originally thought it would be. in fact, he said it was quite a distasteful thing to do all things considered.
but one bush turkey... that'd be easy!
Admin,
ReplyDeleteif we got a man to come over and shoot it ... we'd be in all sorts of trouble!
There are gun laws which would prevent us discharging a firearm in a suburban area, for a start!
And the bush turkey, beleive it or not, is protected, so we'd be facing Environmental/Biodiversity Protection charges as well, I'd suspect.
We can get a man to 'remove' it ... that is take it to a bus stop and tell it to shove off!
one word ..... dobermann (ct2)
ReplyDeleteAdmin,
ReplyDeletekeep reading. Can't have you forced to sleep next to a man who snores!